Q: How should a couple decide whether to do joint or individual sessions?

A: Either type of session can be very advantagous to the couple and a combination of the two may be utilized as well. Knowing the benefits to each will help you choose what is the best fit for you in your situation:

Couple counseling helps to develop:

1. Communication skills
2. Negotiation skills
3. Development of a shared vision together
4. More productive conflict resolution of problems
5. Freedom to make up after upsetting battles
6. Increased comfort in dealing with recurring conflicts
7. Awareness of individual personal areas for growth

Individual counseling brings change by focusing on:

1. Personal issues
2. Patterns of expectation
3. Depressed or anxious feelings that create problems in the relationship
4. Self-image issues that interfere with building a strong bond between you

Q: How long will the sessions last?

A: Individuals and couples each have their own pace. Some can move into an issue quickly, find some new ways to deal with it and want to go home and practice. Many people like a longer session which allows them to work through some deeper conflicts, particularily at times of acute stress. So sessions can be tailored to your needs from 50 minutes to two hours. I recommend that you start the first session at 50 - 90 minutes and begin to feel out what is right for you.

Q: How does therapy help?

A: Through the process of exploring your issues you will have a chance to:

1. Focus more closely on the changes you want
2. Identify common negative themes that reappear in different parts of your life
3. Strengthen the desire and willingness to take risks toward change
4. Name and change some of the beliefs that have kept you stuck in your situation
5. Become aware of some of the hidden scripts that you have been living out
6. Pick up ineffective patterns of social interaction with others
7. Become more conscious of your decisions
8. Celebrate any positive steps taken
9. Gain more freedom to expand your dreams and vision of the future
10. Analyze possible means to implement that dream
11. Develop your capacity to be more creative
12. Evaluate whether your new action patterns are leading to the change you want